隨著不斷的發(fā)展，各個(gè)國(guó)家的關(guān)系不斷加強(qiáng)，英語對(duì)每個(gè)人的生活來說就顯得非常重要了，而英語的學(xué)習(xí)方法是我們不斷地尋找和追求的，那么今天我們不妨通過一些小笑話來學(xué)習(xí)英語吧！
1.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
這里想對(duì)將要退休者提一點(diǎn)忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進(jìn)退休社區(qū)。因?yàn)槟抢锶巳硕计甙耸畾q或者八九十歲了。每當(dāng)要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時(shí)，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”
2.Mother Freddie, why is your face so red
Freddie I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting
Freddie Me and Jackie Smith.
媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉為什么那么紅？
弗雷迪：我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架？
媽媽：你做的對(duì)，誰和誰在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
3.A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.
After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace. 'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said, ' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'
一位著名牧師和他教區(qū)的幾位老人出席城外會(huì)議直到天黑才開完會(huì)，他們打算在回家前吃點(diǎn)東西。但很不巧只有一家名聲不好的下等酒吧烤菜館開著門。
飯后，一位老人要牧師祈禱。“我想我是免了，”牧師說。“我不想讓主知道我在這里。”
4.Tom William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him
Jack Certainly.
Tom And why
Jack Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
湯姆：威廉向我借五英鎊。我該不該借給他？
杰克：當(dāng)然應(yīng)該了。
湯姆：為什么？
杰克：否則他就該跟我借了。
5.
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination . At last he succeeded.
'Why are you so nervous' I asked him.
'The numbers are the date of our anniversary.' my usband confessed.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他帶著他的手提式計(jì)算機(jī)。機(jī)場(chǎng)出口處檢查員要他打開包。他耐心的等著我那窘迫的丈夫設(shè)法回想起暗鎖的密碼。最后他終于想起來了。
“你為什么那么緊張呢？”我問他。
“這密碼是我們結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日。”他承認(rèn)道
6. An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman' How much this stuff'
'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The l
ady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聾并且總是嫌?xùn)|西太貴的老太太走進(jìn)一家商店。
她問店員：“這東西要多少錢？”
“七美元，太太，這是很便宜的?！?老太太說：“太貴了，十四美元差不多。”
店員忙說：“我沒說十七美元，是七美元。”
“還是太貴，”老太太說：“五美元，我就買啦?！?/p>
7.Mother Why are you jumping up and down
Tom I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的？
湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖動(dòng)瓶子了
8.One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'
My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here'
一天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購(gòu)物，回來后發(fā)現(xiàn)車身沾滿灰塵，于是擦洗了一陣。當(dāng)我終于走進(jìn)屋里時(shí)大聲喊：“世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風(fēng)玻璃?！?/p>
我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了？”
9.Mr. Johnson Are you using you mower this afternoon
Mr.Smith Yes.
Mr.Johnson Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it
約翰遜先生：今天下午你準(zhǔn)備用割草機(jī)嗎？
史密斯先生：是的。
約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網(wǎng)球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎？
10.Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.
'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.'
'Don't worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.' He said with a smile.
瑪麗非常討厭丈夫吸煙，一天對(duì)他抱怨說：“我希望有一天所有卷煙廠都失火?！?/p>
“不用擔(dān)心，親愛的，所有的煙卷遲早都會(huì)點(diǎn)著的。”他笑著說。
